Kate and I filled out her "getting to know you" questionnaire in preparation for the first day of school tomorrow.  These were her answers:

Name:  Katelyn Elizabeth Hooper

My favorite toy is:  Stuffed animals, especially nice bears like Greenbear

I like to eat:  Pancakes, bananas, peaches, Sprite, fish sticks, breakfast tacos

The book I like the most is: Little Quack

My favorite color is: Purple

If I could pretend to be anything, I would be:  A clown and a dog

Hi there.  This is Audrey.  I need to fill you in on an alarming situation going on at my house.  Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

Last Christmas, Santa (not that I know who that is, I never met him) gave me a “TMX Elmo.”   It looked harmless enough in the box, even though it kept staring at me.  My sister seemed really excited about it, and she said Lauren has one, and I think Lauren is cool, so I was willing to give it a shot.    I wasn’t sure what to do with it at first (do you cuddle it?  Does it read stories?)  Mommy said that you were supposed to tickle it, which sounded kind of fun, I like tickling.  So I reached out and tickled it, just a little bit.  And it started laughing, but not just any laugh, a cackle that would haunt my dreams.   And it WOULD NOT STOP.  And the Monster (for by now I knew for sure it was a monster) began to flail and roll about.  Of course I climbed up onto Mommy for her to protect me, but all of a sudden I realized that she was laughing.  And Sister was laughing.  And everybody was laughing at the Monster and watching it roll on the floor like it was entertainment.  This shocked me!  How could they not see?  Did they not understand that it was merely warming up before it went on a rampage to destroy us all?  Did they not see the mortal danger we were all in?

And then my parents put it in the trunk and TOOK IT HOME WITH US.  Had they lost their minds?  I sat still as a statue the entire way home, so not to alert it to my presence.  My rational mind told me that it could not get to me, but I just could not forget THOSE EYES.  Lidless, glaring, they haunted me.  I knew the Monster was simply biding its time.

So when we got home—you won’t believe this—Mommy put it on the shelf in the game room.  I would cautiously play under its relentless gaze, always aware of the impending doom.  I would try to alert Mommy from time to time, but she did not seem to understand me.  Occasionally she would bring the Monster into our midst, and it would dutifully perform its little ruse, but I was onto its scheme.  I would warn Mommy with my most blood-curdling shrieks of fear, but she would simply put the Monster back onto the shelf, where it would continue to plot against us.  A few times I even tried to telephone the authorities, but this only seemed to make Mommy upset with me.  Daddy would tell me, “Yes, honey, it scares me too,” but he would never do anything about it. (Perhaps they are double agents.  I am still researching this theory, as I am very fond of them and reluctant to believe they could betray me.) 

This has gone on for nine agonizing months.  But then, the other day it seemed that I finally got through to Mommy.  I gathered together all of the Monster propaganda in this house, in the form of books and toys, because they are a pack of lies and must be destroyed.  I presented this evidence to her, pointed at the Monster, and in my most emphatic voice declared an ultimatum:  IT'S EITHER THE MONSTER OR ME, MAKE YOUR FINAL CHOICE.  By some miracle she seemed to understand me at last, and she removed the Monster from the shelf.  It glared at me as they passed by (I kept a safe distance though--better her than me) and she took it out of sight.  I never actually heard her take it outside to the trash can, though…

There’s a little door in my room.  I’ve never been through it, and my parents call it “The Attic.”  I never knew what that meant, exactly, but now I suspect it means “Monster Hiding Place.”  So now I guess it is up to me to stand in the gap between my ignorant family and the Apocalypse.  I sleep the fitful sleep of the Protector, with one eye always on that doorknob. 

I love my computer.  I am sitting here at the kitchen counter, dinner is cooking on the stove, kids are playing, and I can pay the bills and check email and keep an eye on everything all at the same time.  A multitasker's dream.

Of course, I don't have everything transferred over yet, and that takes a while.  And I don't have my external midi hookup yet so I am still using the old one for work.  I'm working on getting things set up, in the nooks and crannies of time that I get here and there, and when my technical consult is available.  But just the simple act of typing a blog entry without wondering what mischief the kids are getting into...well, I could get used to this!

Scene:  Audrey was fussing at the table.

Kate:  I have a memory verse to share with you.  Repeat after me:  You should not cry or fuss and always say please every day.  Upsham 30:8.

Audrey is almost 16 months, and I have been meaning to do an update on her for a while.  So here's a big one!

This week Audrey has:

1. Stole my Dr Pepper while I was in the bathroom at playgroup.  By my estimation she probably drank about 16 oz.  Naptime was pitifully short that day.
2. Overturned 4 cereal bowls, two weren't even hers.
3. Climbed onto a kitchen chair and up onto the table, got my coffee mug, and poured it out all over the floor.  Thank goodness it was lukewarm and not steaming hot.
4. Snatched Kate's cough medicine (dosed up into a medicine cup) and poured it all over one of the throw pillows.  Again, thank goodness, because she did not drink it.
5. Brought me my thyroid medicine while I was taking a shower.  (YIKES!!!!!)  Thank goodness unopened.  Seriously, we DO NOT leave the medicine in reach.  Her problem solving ability has taken a huge step forward this week, so she's figured out all kinds of creative ways to get stuff she never got before.  For the first time I might actually install cabinet latches, never used them for Kate.
6. Rubbed many different foods in her hair: ketchup, beans, applesauce, yogurt, ice cream, peanut butter, pineapple, banana, peach, and guacamole.  The guac is the worst - it turns brown and starts to stink almost immediately.
7. Stolen 4 dishtowels, which I haven't found yet.  If she gave them to the dog, I may never find them.
8. Fallen off of a kitchen chair onto the tile.  Stopped crying in 20 seconds.
9. Collided with Kate, giving Kate a big bruise under her chin, and a big knot on Audrey's eyebrow.
10. Climbed on the subwoofer repeatedly. (in spite of spankings)
11. Rubbed her nose on the TV.  Boogervision!
12. Brought me the remote and the phone repeatedly.  (A couple of weeks ago she actually pilfered Paul's cell phone and called me without his knowing, and we had a conversation.  Totally serious.)
13. Changed all of the settings on the CD player.
14. Unrolled 3 rolls of toilet paper completely, and emptied at least one Kleenex box.
15. Hidden some CD's separate from their cases.
16. Wiped down the kitchen table with the peanut butter side of a PBJ.
17. Changed the volume on Daddy's alarm clock repeatedly.  We never know if it will be ear-splitting or non-existent.
18. Removed her poopy diaper, fortunately, she couldn't get her pants off.  I consider myself very lucky here.  Find more unfortunate stories at Kelly's blog.
19. Tried to flush a My Little Pony down the toilet.
20. Drank about 4 cups of bathwater before I realized it.  (Kate: "Mommy, Audrey must be thirsty - she keeps drinking the water.")

And that's just the stuff I remember!

Here's some non-mischief things:

1. Says "I dit!" (meaning "I did it").
2. Grins that million dollar grin.  It's all I can do to not grin back when I'm supposed to be stern.
3. Gives everybody kisses and running-full-on-crash-into-you hugs.
4. Can do all of our (little kid) puzzles now.
5. Loves to play Little People.
6. Makes me kiss all of her stuffed animals before bed.  And she tucks PeanutBear under a blanket in her bed, 'cause he's her baby.
7. Says "A-men" after the blessing.  Or "Ma-men."  Or "Hi-ya!"
8. Says "Tatelyn."  ("Mama!  I gah et.  Tatelyn bup."  translated: Mama, I got it - Katelyn's cup.)
9. Says "Hi Dad" on the phone. 
10. Instead of "boo-boo", she says "boba." ("Mama!  I gah boba.")
11. Started signing Thank You.
12. Signs please, points to the stereo, and then sways side to side - this is her way of asking me to put on the music so she can dance.
13. Loves to bang on the piano while Kate dances.  (My favorite moment of the week: Kate yelling, "Take it, Audrey!" then they just went to town.  Wish you could have seen it.)
14. Plays Mommy and Baby with Kate in her crib.  They take turns putting each other to bed.
15. Started making animal sounds like moo, meow, woof, etc.  She still calls everything "dogga" though, but she makes the right sound when I ask her what that animal says.
16. "Reads" aloud.
17. She's very sharing - she even shares her paci and cup with everyone.  This is not entirely a good thing, and she also expects the same in return.  Without asking.
18. Blows bubbles in her drink with her straw.  (I tell her to stop, because Mommy is supposed to teach good manners, but secretly I think it is adorable, because she is so proud of herself.)
19. Started eating at the table with a placemat and a (plastic) plate like the rest of the family.  This works most of the time, but she does like to put the placemat on her head.
20. She loves rock music and scrunches up her face and headbangs.  She's going to be my bass player.

What a character!

Well, the computer and the camera are having an argument again, so pictures from our trip to the lake will have to wait.  So since there hasn't been much blogging lately I thought I would entertain you with 10 random things we are loving around here this week.

1.  New computer on the way!  Woohoo!  I don't know what all the specs are (you know I left that to Paul) but it's a Dell laptop and it's green.  :)  And presumably it will not hate my camera.

2.  New kids' CD, Snacktime by Barenaked Ladies.  Thanks, Shannon, for the rec.  This is hilarious and clever and chock-full of musical parodies and inside jokes as well.  Devo, Queen, trip-hop, reggaeton, Gordon Lightfoot (who even makes a cameo), and many other diverse references.  The kids love it.  Incidentally, I always thought Barenaked Ladies was the most annoying name for a group ever, but I do get the joke.   ("Hey, check out the new Barenaked Ladies!")  Around here we just call it "7 8 9,"  which is my kiddos' favorite song.  ("1 2 3 and 4 more make 7, 6 is afraid of 7, 'cuz 7 8 9!" sung in the style of the old Rawhide theme song)

3.  Yogurt pops, old school style.

4.  The Olympics.  I just love the Olympics.  I wish I could watch more of it.  I pretty much watched the 2004 Olympics all day long every day it was on, because I was pregnant with Kate and on partial bed-rest for preterm labor.  I crocheted like a madwoman and watched in awe some of the first HD broadcasts we'd ever received.  Now I am still crocheting like a madwoman but unfortunately NBC has added commercials to their HD broadcasts, although to their credit they are for the most part fairly unoffensive, ok-for-little-eyes commercials, so the kids can watch too.

5.  I'm singing in a cover band for an Apartment Life event on Friday.  This organization is all about building community and friendships in apartment complexes.  I am excited about this gig because a. I love to sing as you know and b. I get to sing "Long Train Runnin" which is one of my favorite Doobie Brothers' songs and c. I get to serve hot dogs and hamburgers to people that are not related to me.  The only downside to this is that I also have to sing "Soak Up the Sun" by Sheryl Crow, but I know a lot of people like this song, so I'll do my best to squeak it out.

6.  Paul is so very into this new game Braid, and it is pretty cool.  And I love that he is in the game room instead of his office; but, as an observer only, after a while the rewinding gives me a headache.  (That comment will probably only make sense to Dave and Jen.)

7.  Rain.  Beautiful, freshening rain.  More, please.

8.  Mad Men season 1 on-demand for FREE.  Primo knitting TV.  Loving this show, the plot twists, the flawless acting, the awesome sets and costumes, loving it all.  Don Draper is a rock star.  I am taking a break from this show this week (Olympics, you know) but I love that I actually have something to WATCH during the summer whilst I knit.

9.  We are going on a date Saturday night, to see Batman at last.  Babysitter and all!  Yippee!  I will probably even wear makeup.

10.  The girls are really becoming best friends.  I just love hearing Kate read to Audrey.  (This week's selections are "Here is My Cat", "What Does Baby Say?", and "Clifford Barks.")  And when one of them gets upset, she needs Mommy, but then she wants her sister, too.  So sweet!

Have a great week!

So the kids got their well-checks today, to see if they are healthy enough for preschool.  Official diagnosis:  "they are perfect."  As if we didn't know.  :)

Katelyn: 32.5 lb (50%), 38.5 in (90%). 

Audrey: 20.5 lb (20%), 31.25 in (75 %).

Somehow we missed some of Audrey's shots, but to catch her up today would mean 5 shots, and I just couldn't do that to her.  So we settled for 3 and we'll go back in a couple of weeks for the others.  Katelyn had to have a hepatitis A shot herself, and it was pretty rough.  There was much screaming and drama from both of them, so now we are all worn out.  We skipped Gymboree today because they were not in the mood for fun, just lollipops and TV.  Mommy is in the mood for Advil and knitting.

Kate tells a joke at dinnertime:

"Why did the sprinkler go all the way up to heaven?"

(I don't know.)

"To get Jesus all wet!"

***

(trying to negotiate her way out of finishing her dinner)

"Say, Mommy, what if I just pretend to eat 3 more bites instead?"

Ok, it's taken me 3 days, but I finally have all of the 4th of July pictures up on Flickr.  (well, the ones that didn't get corrupted by accident, but that's another story.  Paul is fixing them in photoshop.)  Anyhoo, they are up.  Now I just have to go backwards and get the pix from our trip to Edmond up there (the ones I took in June).

We had a great time.  The kids especially had a blast with Papa D. 

Kate isn't sick; she has blue lips because she was eating a blue sucker.

Fireworks are fun! 

So happy!

Audrey wasn't sure about the horses.

Can't wait til next year!